2023: A Year in Review- So Very Mortal

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The Innards of the Happiness Jar 2023

These last few days past Christmas have been wet and dreary in Atlanta. It feels like the appropriate way to wind down the year. I opened my annual happiness jar yesterday to properly reminisce on the gifts and trials of 2023. In March, I introduced my principles for living joyfully and my new bike, Luna. Two months later, in my previous post, I discussed my ambulance ride from downtown to Grady Hospital. While it has been a wild year, my happiness jar is a small practice that reminds me how to find gratitude and reflect through the year. This year, alongside my bike, I held incredible moments of kindness and tough soul-shaping pains in the same breath.

In spring 2023, I had a series of cycling firsts. I finally tried (supported) bike camping with the Atlanta Cycling Festival. In that week of their trip to Rockmart, Georgia, I met my peak week distance maximum at around 100 miles. In March, I took my first bike-based birthday ride for Borith on his BeltGrind route. Ride joy is contagious, and it carried me to lead an April ride to my favorite Indian plaza in Decatur. Then, in mid-May, a cycling accident took me off the road. It was an abrupt reminder and wake-up call. We are so very mortal. The loss of independence during the following eight weeks in a wheelchair was transformative. The combined inability to care for myself, prepare meals, or write was challenging.

My Aunt Shampoos My Hair

In response, I had a beautiful outpouring of support and compassion from my community, friends, and family. My favorite aunt, Sheru, made a surprise visit to Atlanta from Toronto to get me from Grady. She later helped me bathe and read Urdu poetry to me. Just a month later, she suffered a stroke. Now, her motor functions and language abilities are a little different. When I visited her in November, I tried to reciprocate warmth to her. Already aware of the dilemmas of diabetes and heart disease in my family history, I am even more attuned to the requirements for preventive medicine. My concern about holistic health has grown firmer.

Good health begins inside the body. Not long after addressing my physical injuries, I proactively sought the help of a therapist. I learned to carry the simultaneous gratitude for support along with patience during my temporary disability. Discussions with my therapist have highlighted the beauty of slowing down and bringing compassion to myself. Again, this reminds me that the first component of health is having the right mindset. A senior member of my care team noted that your self-image can benefit your healing. As I see myself as an outdoors lover, I was motivated to return to operating under the power of my limbs.

Ice Cream for Hearts and Healing

Community is the second component of my health and has been the best miracle of this year. My expedited recovery is thanks to the benevolent energies and grace carried through my cycling community. People I did not know well checked in on me. Friends visited, brought me meals, and transported me to appointments. I am getting by this year with a LOT of help from my friends. Through many deep conversations, I am reminded how interwoven our lives are. As I shared my concerns, others shared their hearts. We are now woven closer together. Healing really does happen in community.

Community Love

Finding and enjoying meaningful work has been incredibly arduous this year. I supported a progressive, community-based developer for a short contract this year. In the happiness jar, I recalled a February public comment I gave at the Dekalb County Commissioners meeting. I had the chance to complain about the Dekalb Police Department and express my disdain for Cop City in one truth-to-power moment. In other joy, I led a bike-sharing theme camp at Alchemy, our regional burn. Through this community project, I got to spread the joy of riding, and advance the cause of adventure.

BBBBikes Camp at Alchemy 2023

An important part this year was the continued efforts at writing. My focus shifted from UpStreamRose to a series of emails via Substack. While my right wrist was broken, the difficulty in writing became an unexpected gift. I started feeling bloated with words and feelings when I could not hold a pen. It was a reminder to keep at this craft. Thanks to voice-typing applications, I kept some writing going. I have been grateful as people have connected with me through conversations via writing. Through these interactions, I sense we have collectively drawn ripples of awareness and expansion in 2023.

Magic Is Something You Make

I punctuated the year on Christmas Eve with a bike ride for Palestine. I still feel shocked that so many Americans cannot acknowledge that this country is funding genocide in Gaza. This horror is happening before our digital-and-always-connected eyes. A global collective awakening pushes Americans to realize that they are on the wrong side of history. With some invitations to holiday parties and seasonal festivities, I look forward to hugging friends and celebrating the end of 2023. Ultimately, I am happy to tuck the horrors and humanity of 2023 into hopes and efforts for a smoother and kinder 2024.

 

From The Isolation Journals

A Desi on Diet & Exercise: Kale Conquest

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A few weeks after moving back to America, I struggled with my re-adjustment. When my energy levels fell and my bowel movements became irregular, I started to consider the recent changes in my lifestyle. My intake of sugars had gone up, and my step count had gone down. I used to get at least 5,000 steps without trying in a Tokyo suburb. In the Atlanta heat, all expeditions require getting into the red Prius. Here, in this semi-suburb, the ease of healthy lunch from Japanese convenience stores gave way to catered, oily late-night Indian meals. As I started driving everywhere and began eating whenever family gathered, my body started to revolt. I started having stomach pains and felt life energy draining from me.

Homemade Biryani

Welcome to America

I am no stranger to the American-lifestyle trap. I had already once noticed that on my trips abroad, I automatically lost weight. In my upbringing, I also have cautionary notes on health and lifestyle. My father was obese and ate with reckless abandon. On both my mother’s and father’s sides of the family, diabetes, heart disease and high blood pressure are ever-present. The combination of genetics and lifestyle has always loomed in my brain as a warning.

In one of our last conversations, I asked my aunt Mohabbat if she had been to Henderson Park (less than a mile from her house). I had visited the park several times to meander and think along its shaded trails. As it was near her home, I wondered if she had seen it. She said she was not in the habit of going out for walks, and it made sense. Where she grew up, it was not common for women to stroll the streets alone. In Pakistan, it could be downright dangerous for a woman to loaf in a park by herself. Here, in Tucker, low mobility and the lack of nutritional know-how are a poor combination for health.

Chai & Samosa Time

I recall my childhood visits to extended family in other cities. It seemed that our mouths were always moving, and not only to talk. We overate meat-based meals and had milky tea with fried and refined sugar snacks. We would complement those meals by sitting on cushy sofas and watching long Bollywood movies on big TVs.  For these aunts and uncles, this type of indulgence was the hallmark of “having made it” in the western world. The migration to America brought affluence and an increased propensity for health problems.

Cleanup On Produce Aisle

Over time, visiting the sick in hospitals, attending funerals, and confronting death have always brought me to reflect on life. In a convoluted way, seeing suffering makes me inspired to live healthier and re-examine my own choices. I grew up overweight and have been so most of my life (minus that summer I was broke and doing a pro-bono legal internship in Los Angeles). Though I carry around some extra pounds, I do not obsess about my weight. For me, body positivity comes first. Being comfortable in your skin and appreciating your unique shape, color, and features have no equal. I can be confident in my external appearance and aware that there are real health concerns with being borderline obese. Carrying around extra weight is a double-edged sword. With such a weight, it is hard to physically enjoy the world’s beauty outside your doorstep. Carrying additional pounds requires more physical effort to enjoy nature. The additional weight also adds pressure to the knees, joints, etc., and thereby increases the probability of stress-related damage.  On top of that, if you are overweight and thin-skinned, there is psychological trauma from a society aggrandizing unhealthy thinness. I strike for a balance, then.

I considered the contrasts. A few months ago, I watched Japanese grandparents riding around on bicycles and buying groceries for a day or two at a time. All along Tokyo, people walk plenty and eat consciously. Here, I drive to Costco and stock up on groceries to feed surprise visitors. Without proselytizing to others, how could I at least get my own choices in order? With the 24-hour kitchen at my family’s home, in what ways could I bring health and discipline to my choices?

Push It!

For my birthday in June, I joined the nearby gym. It may be the best adjustment helper so far. The benefits are multi-fold. I have a great place to decompress and indulge in a swim. Watching others workout around me piqued my curiosity and I have recently learned the kettle ball swing. Instead of feeling depleted after the gym, I find that the prospect of going to work out actually invigorates me. As I began working out regularly, I found my diet is also shaping up. While a lot of delicious processed foods are an arm’s length away, I am enjoying the greens that were hard to find in Japan (Hello arugula and kale!).

To step up the lifestyle improvement a notch, I started a new self-experimentation with intermittent fasting for the month of July. Instead of eating at any and all times of day, I am eating in an 8-hour window, approximately 11 am-7 pm. Even in short-lived experiments, I find a positive lesson. The discipline around eating is a good practice for me. So far, this means I avoid late-night snacking. As a byproduct, I tend to sleep better and have more vivid dreams. The challenges are real too! As an early riser, going 2-3 hours without breakfast is difficult. Anyone that knows me well has seen that hungry can easily turn into hangry!

While a textbook ideal weight is more than a few pounds away, I am a believer in small incremental changes. The balance for me includes cherishing the fruits and veggies I missed in Japan, getting myself in my Prius, and driving over to the gym to make sweat. My own alertness and awareness about health and diet are inspiring others around me to make positive changes too. This hopefully continues to go on as I keep an eye on health and share with others the benefits of my experience.